How Long Do You Let Your Baby Cry it Out? (2024)

  • Things to Know
    • What your baby's crying means
  • Tips to Soothe Baby
    • How to soothe your baby
  • Safety
    • How to safely let your baby cry it out
  • Caregiver Stress
    • Watch your stress
  • Comments
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How Long Do You Let Your Baby Cry it Out? (1)

Crying nonstop for too long likely means there's something wrong. If no amount of soothing seems to work and crying continues for 3 hours, then your doctor may help.

Babies cry to tell you what they're feeling. Whether it's discomfort, hunger, or pain, crying is how they communicate it.

Their crying can also take a toll on you. You may lose sleep over it, and the most common advice you may hear is, "Let the baby cry it out." But what does that mean?

What your baby's crying means

Most parents can tell what's wrong based on their baby's cry. For example, a parent knows when their baby is hungry versus when they are fussy.

There aren't universal types of crying, but crying suggests possible discomforts. When your baby's crying, check them for the following before deciding to let them "cry it out".

  • Your baby's hungry.
  • They're tired.
  • Lights or sounds are overstimulating them.
  • Your baby has a soiled diaper or clothes.
  • They're too hot or cold.
  • Your baby is generally uncomfortable (such as a buildup of gas or their clothes are too tight).
  • They're in pain.
  • They've had a drastic change in their environment, routine, or lifestyle.

Crying can just be crying. Your baby will sometimes cry because of boredom, excess energy, or strange emotions. When there's nothing you can fix, this can be frustrating. But it's normal.

Too much crying may mean colic. If your baby is crying a little too much, keep track of how long they cry. Colic is crying without a cause for at least 3hours a day and 3days a week.

Colic is self-resolving. Many newborns go through a colic period, and it typically goes away by around 4months old. If you suspect your baby may be going through colic, contact your doctor.

How to soothe your baby

If your baby's crying after you've met their basic needs, what else can you do? First, they may need some simple soothing to help them relax.

Try these soothing methods before letting your baby "cry it out":

  • Gently rock your baby.
  • Gently stroke, pat, or rub their chest or back.
  • Snugly (and safely) swaddle them.
  • Sing and talk to them.
  • Play white noise or gentle music.
  • Walk with your baby in their stroller or carrier.
  • Give them a warm bath.

Every baby will prefer different types of soothing. For example, an overstimulated baby might hate having their back rubbed. So, finding what soothes them can ensure "crying it out" is saved for last.

How to safely let your baby cry it out

If all else fails and you don't think your baby needs to see a doctor, it's OK to let them cry it out. Often, they'll expel their energy and fall asleep.

‌Letting your baby cry it out doesn't mean that you abandon them. On the contrary, checking on them as they cry will make sure they stay safe.

Put them safely in their crib. Cribs have safety guidelines to ensure your child's safety. Proper use of the crib by following those guidelines is crucial to ensuring their safety as you leave them alone.

Keep the crib empty. Lay your baby on their back in the crib without blankets, pillows, or plushies. You may think these objects will soothe your baby, but they can be dangerous.

Leave them for 10 minutes. Take a break for yourself during this time. Brew some tea, meditate, or do something else to help you relax. If you're stressed, it's challenging to soothe your baby.

Keep checking until they fall asleep. Your baby will eventually cry it out with enough time. If you can't stay to check on your baby, ask a friend or family member to be on standby and check on your baby for you. But if your baby is tired, they should fall asleep quickly.

After 3hours, contact your doctor. Crying nonstop for too long likely means there's something wrong. If no amount of soothing seems to work and they aren't crying it out, your doctor can provide guidance.

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Watch your stress

You likely feel frustrated when your baby starts crying without cause. When nothing you do seems to help, the stress can get to you.

Always find help when you don't think you can handle the stress. Reducing your stress will make sure your baby gets the care they need.

Always be gentle. No matter how stressed you feel, always be careful with your baby. Never shake, hit, or be rough with them. Rough handling can lead to the following:

  • Shaken baby syndrome (SBS)
  • Blindness
  • Brain damage
  • Death

‌Letting a baby cry it out can be a difficult thing for a parent to do. Listening to their cries can feel like torture. But as long they're safe, you don't need to worry.

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Medically Reviewed on 8/16/2022

References

American Academy of Pediatrics: "Responding To Your Baby's Cries."

Australian Prescriber: "Infantile Colic."

Nemours KidsHealth: "What to Do When Babies Cry."

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission: "Crib Safety Tips."

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How Long Do You Let Your Baby Cry it Out? (2024)

FAQs

How Long Do You Let Your Baby Cry it Out? ›

How long to let a baby cry it out? For the cry-it-out method, you let your baby cry until they fall asleep, and rest assured they will. Some babies may protest for 25 minutes, others 65 minutes, and some even longer. It's important not to put a time limit on it (that's a different sleep-training method).

How long is too long to let a baby cry it out? ›

True cry it out doesn't come with a time limit for crying, whether the protests go on for five minutes or an hour. In fact, going in to comfort your baby after letting them cry for an extended period will probably make the process harder.

What is the 5 3 3 rule? ›

The 5 3 3 rule is a sleep training method that involves setting specific intervals for sleep. The method involves having the child sleep for 5 hours, followed by 3 hours of awake time, and then 3 hours of sleep again.

At what point do you just let a baby cry? ›

Likely the best known CIO method, Richard Ferber, MD, uses the graduated extinction model starting when baby is 6 months old. “Graduated” basically means that parents are encouraged to put baby to bed when they're drowsy but still awake. Then, you're to let your baby cry for 5 minutes before responding the first time.

Is it okay to let a baby cry for an hour? ›

In conclusion, letting a baby cry for too long can have negative effects on their physical, emotional, and cognitive development. It can cause increased levels of stress hormones, which can have negative effects on the baby's brain and immune system.

How long to leave baby to self-settle? ›

Just give your baby 1-2 minutes to settle down. As your baby gets older, you can also give them some time to settle when they wake or grizzle during the night. Your baby might re-settle without your help.

How long is too much crying for a baby? ›

Some babies cry a lot more than others. A baby who cries 3 or more hours a day, 3 or more days a week, for at least 3 weeks might have colic. Usually, it starts when a baby is 2–5 weeks old and ends by the time the baby is 3–4 months old. Colic happens to a lot of newborns.

What is the rule of 3 before bed? ›

10 hours before bed: No more caffeine. 3 hours before bed: No more food or alcohol. 2 hours before bed: No more work. 1 hour before bed: No more screen time (shut off all phones, TVs and computers).

Is cry it out neglect? ›

Mothers and babies are designed to be a responsive dyad. Babies express their needs through crying. Letting babies "cry it out" is a form of need-neglect that leads to many long-term effects. The "cry it out" method releases stress hormones, impairs self-regulation, and undermines trust.

How many nights does cry it out take? ›

In the beginning, you may end up having to let baby cry it out for 45 minutes to an hour before she goes to sleep, though it varies. Most parents who try the cry it out method find their babies cry increasingly less over the first three nights, and the tears stop somewhere between the fourth and seventh nights.

Does leaving a baby to cry harm them? ›

An infant's development and attachment to their parents is not affected by being left to 'cry it out' and can actually decrease the amount of crying and duration.

What happens if you ignore a crying baby? ›

Discussion. The main result of this study indicated that “ignoring the crying baby,” unlike “leaving the baby alone at home,” had a long-lasting suppressive effect on multiple aspects of neuropsychological development, particularly communication development, in early childhood (i.e., six months to three years).

How to get baby to self soothe? ›

How to Help Your Baby Self-Soothe
  1. Follow A Consistent Routine. Bathing, cuddling, singing, playing quiet music can help establish a peaceful atmosphere that cues to your baby that bedtime is here. ...
  2. Put Your Baby To Bed Drowsy, But Awake. ...
  3. Give Them Time to Settle Down. ...
  4. Consider a pacifier. ...
  5. Learn Your Baby's Sleep Pattern.
Apr 15, 2023

When to stop holding a baby all the time? ›

By 6 or 7 months of age, your baby may need some things but want others. At that point, you may be able to resist their demands a little. It's not so much that you're spoiling them if you “give in” to their every wish, but it may be more beneficial to help them understand some limits (often for their own safety).

Should you let a 1 year old cry it out? ›

Q: Can you let 1 year olds and older babies cry it out? A: Research [2] suggests that graduated extinction can actually strengthen the bond between baby and parent, and there is no evidence that sleep training is harmful.

When can a baby self soothe? ›

On average, children will begin to demonstrate self-soothing behaviors between three to four months old.

How long to let a 2 year old cry it out? ›

Wait about five minutes and only enter if the crying continues. If you need to re-enter, soothe your toddler by rubbing their back until they calm down — and then leave the room. If your toddler cries again, repeat the process. Continue this method until your child falls asleep.

What happens to babies when they cry for a long time? ›

Excessive infant crying doubles the risk of behavioral, hyperactivity, and mood problems at the age of 5–6, as reported by their mother. Maternal burden of infant care partially mediates the association between excessive crying and behavioral and mood problems.

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