How to Get a Girl to Go out with You in Seventh Grade (2024)

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Co-authored byJohn Keegan

Last Updated: July 3, 2022References

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   Focus on cleanliness. Take care of how you look and smell especially if you are growing up quickly. You may notice that you sweat a lot more or that you smell very bad. These are not attractive qualities so be sure to shower and wear deodorant every day. Also remember to brush your teeth and style your hair. Keeping basic hygiene makes sure that she does not get grossed out.^[1]

   • Always stay fresh and clean even when you're not in school because if you run into her friends in the mall and they think that you smell, the rumour will spread quickly back to her. Without even knowing it, you may have already blown your chance.
   • Take deodorant to school with you, if allowed, in your sports kit on P.E. days.
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   Dress to impress. While each girl will like her own specific style, take pride in how your dress. Have confidence in your appearance and know what works for you. You want to feel comfortable in your outfits so that it will be one less thing to worry about.

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   Be friendly and use your friends to your advantage. This does NOT mean forcing your friends to ask out a girl on your behalf but it can mean using them to help you look better or find out information about her.^[2] It also has the added effect of showing that you are a sociable person and fun to be around.

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   Smile at her and spark up conversation whenever you can. If you aren't friends already, introduce yourself when you are working in a group or when you are sitting next to each other. Talk to her in class, but don't be obnoxious. Don't talk to her too much, just say hi when you find yourself around her or wave if you see her around school.

   • Talk to her whenever the opportunity presents itself. Start by simply asking, "How's it going?"
   • Don't be creepy or awkward by lingering at her location without saying something. If you have nothing to say, don’t force it. Just greet her and move along.
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   Talk to her friends and learn more about her. Make sure to make a good impression on them as they are her first line of defense.^[3]

   • If she is much more popular than you, or in a different social circle, more effort will be required. Try and talk to that group to get closer to her, and be seen in a different light.
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   Become friends. A girl is much more likely to go out with you if you have gained her trust and respect on a friendship level.^[4] Start slow and chat as acquaintances. Don't be too eager to please her. Leave her intrigued and looking forward to her next encounter with you.^[5]

   • Becoming friends can happen by sitting next to her in class, teaming up with her for class projects, interacting with her friends, or getting her number or social media handles to chat.
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   Become comfortable with her. Find a topic that interests you both and chat with her as often as you can. Don't be afraid to ask questions and to change topics so that you can continue the conversation and, more importantly, get to know more about her. Don't try to force a conversation and make things awkward with silence. It's okay to end a conversation if you don't feel like it's flowing in your favour.

   • Try to find common hobbies and interests. For example, you may chat about video games because there are a surprising number of girls that enjoy them as much as boys.^[6] Local sports teams are also a great topic to chat about. For example, you can say "Hey, did you catch last night's game?"
   • If she's sad ask "What's wrong" and if she doesn't want to tell you about it then say "We're friends, you know I would understand"
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   Have self-confidence. Know that you are you're own person and that she should like you for who you are. It's okay to have your own opinion. Disagreeing with her or not liking something that she likes is okay. If she doesn't like you for your opinion then you know it wasn't meant to be, but always respect others and yourself. If your opinion is rude or disrespectful, you may have other problems to address.^[7]

   • If you make body jokes, do it in moderation. If you do it too much you will come off as crude and immature. if you do it in moderation you may make her laugh and come off self confident if you joke about yourself.
   • Do not be a disrespectful or a bully. People are allowed to have their own opinion. Make sure that you're able to have an open conversation without turning it into a shouting match or worse.
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   See Also

   Middle School Stuff #3: Popularity – Jessica Speer - Author3 Ways to Be Cool in Middle School - wikiHow3 Ways to Make a Girl at School Like You - wikiHowHow to Kiss Your Girlfriend in Middle School: 14 Steps

   Be classy and treat your girl well. Open doors for her and help her carry her books without her having to ask for it. Girls really love these small sweet gestures of kindness and they will notice it.

   • You don't have to buy her an expensive gift for her birthday to make her happy when you can give her something sentimental like a small key chain of a funny joke you two shared.

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   Make a strategy. Make sure it's a good time to ask her out. Get some alone time and wait for a good time in the conversation. Great signs to look for are laughter, when she's revealing something about herself, or when you are looking into each other's eyes.^[8] Say something similar to, "I have to admit that you've been on my mind a lot and I was wondering if you wanted to go out, just you and I. I think it would be fun."

   • Don't immediately ask her to be your girlfriend. Ask her to go out to enjoy an activity with you so she doesn't feel pressured or, worse, creeped out. If she knows that it will just be the both of you and that you have been thinking about it signals that you want to take the next step past friendship.
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   Find out her locker and use it to your advantage. If you're shy or want a different approach, slipping a note into her locker is a fun way to ask her out. The note can say "I like you, do you like me? Place your answer at my locker by the gym, #23."

   • If written well, she will find your note cute and amusing. It also doesn't put pressure on her or make her feel any commitment. Be careful because she might also wonder if you're too shy or lazy to ask her in person.
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   Ask her out when the two of you are alone. Avoid asking her out when she's around her friends or other people. She may get very self-conscious that people are there or, worse, her friends might tease her and make her feel awkward by teasing, "He wants to marry you". Friends may also voice their disapproval if they think you two don't make a good match.^[9]

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   Take her out with a group. Invite friends to a fun activity like a movie, walking around the mall, or to just hang out at your house. You can either get a mutual friend to invite her or, if you feel like you're at that level, invite her out yourself.^[10]

   • Don't be too obvious about your feelings when you're in a group. Make sure you include everyone in the conversation and activity. It will be easy to notice if you pay too much attention to her over the others so choose your time wisely.
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   Go for it and ask her out. When you feel that you've got a connection, ask her to go out with you. Don't get someone else to tell her how you feel because she may find it weird or feel confused. You can also call her or have a video chat as long as you ask her casually.^[11]

   • Texts are easily misinterpreted especially if you're trying to joke or if she doesn't take things seriously.
   • Don't wait to make the first move. Cease the moment and ask her out when it feels right.
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   Plan for anything that can prevent you from going out with her. Find out if she already has a boyfriend and let her know that you want her to feel comfortable. For example, you can say, "Do you wanna go out? It can be our secret and I promise not to make things awkward by trying to kiss you.”

   • If she hesitates but agrees, follow the rule that you have set together. If she doesn't want anyone to know then don't tell anyone. Don't pressure her to kiss if she has told you that it is not okay.
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   Plan for a simple date. A matinee is a fun and easy date because it is in a safe public location but still gives you time to be together and have something to discuss afterwards. If you have a shared interest like sports or a favourite band, plan an event around it. You can even just walk around the mall and talk about the places she likes to shop.

   • Let her know that her parents are welcome to join and that you will meet her there so that she knows you aren't planning to do anything her parents won't approve of or that will get her into trouble.

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   Be sure that your parents are aware of what you are doing. If your parents are not okay with you having a girlfriend, you should not lie to them. Communicate with them and maybe you can find a compromise.

   • Doing something your parents do not allow make it even more difficult if you’re caught.
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   Show your parents that you are responsible. Take any opportunity to build their trust. Go to bed on time and do your chores when you’re told. Also, improving your grades shows that you are focused and understand your priorities.

   • Getting your parent to support you will make things much easier down the road. For example, they can give you rides when you want to meet her or extra allowance if you want to buy her a small present to show her you like her.
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   Be polite when meeting her parents. Respectful behavior is important to provide an example of how you will treat their daughter.

   • A confident young man who does well in school and has aspirations for the future will keep most parents from stopping you from going out with their daughter unless you ever prove dishonest or impolite.
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   Respect her and her family's views. If she says she is unsure or not allowed to date in middle school, it's not the end of the world. As much as you want to go out with her, it's much more important that you establish respect early on.

   • Do not suggest that she lie to her parents or goes behind their back. That will only get her into trouble and make you seem selfish for disregarding what her parents want. You can suggest that you have a non-date at her house under her parents' supervision if her parents initially say no. Show them that you respect them and will follow their rules.

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   Be confident. If someone rejects you, tell yourself "I'm a nice guy. I do well in school. I have hobbies and interests and I treat people well. I have a lot to offer" If someone doesn't want that, a guy with a lot to offer will not care. After all, it's their loss.

   See Also

   Middle School Girls: Self-Esteem and Academic Issues - Children's Resource Group - A Multi-Specialty Behavioral Health Practice

   • Girls who initially reject you can change their minds after a short time. If you think that they are sincerely apologetic, thank them and consider taking them out. In other cases, you are allowed to move on and let them know they had a chance.
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   Don't be angry or embarrassed if she refuses. Do not start blaming her, freaking out, blaming yourself, insulting her and generally being disrespectful.

   • There could be a number of factors that made her say no. 7th graders are very nervous about everything and especially what friends say. Even if she wants to accept, she is likely to reject in order to avoid the joking and ridicule which is so common.
   • She may fear that her friends will laugh or that you aren't good enough somehow.
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   Move on. In 7th grade, kids often say what they don't mean. Always be a good guy and do the right thing. Never lash out because it not only will damage any chance you have with her but it may also give you an unwanted reputation with other girls. Treat others with respect and keep your rejection to yourself.

   • It's also important to remember not to take these relationships too seriously. Chances are that you haven't found your soulmate in middle school, so don't place more value on the relationship than your schoolwork.

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