Second child syndrome | Motherhood Hospitals (2024)

Author - Motherhood Medical Team

Second child syndrome is a situation in which the second or middle child is adversely affected by the presence of his/her siblings. There are times when parents often end up pampering the youngest child and giving all the responsibilities to the eldest one. This induces a sense of rivalry and jealousy in the mind of the younger ones.

Renowned psychologist Kevin Leman argues that when children are caught between two siblings, they often feel ignored and suffer badly. This is known as second child syndrome. He further stated that the younger ones may not give words to their experience, but rather communicate their distress with their behavior. The situation arises when parents exercise an extreme amount of favoritism and partiality towards one child.

  • Low self-esteem
  • Jealousy
  • A feeling of directionlessness
  • Feeling that nothing is expected from them
  • Anger
  • Irritability
  • Shying away

Characteristics of child syndrome:

  • The child yearns for affection
  • Tries to grab attention
  • Hates comparison
  • Sibling rivalry
  • Confusion between behaving as an introvert Or an extrovert

Possible triggers:

Identity crisis - looking for places to fit in and struggles to understand the situation

Parental support - looking for parental support. The child hates the feeling of biasness and unfulfilled needs.

Prevention:

  • The parents must be mindful of each child's individual needs.
  • Try to be a listener, not a judge
  • Play along with them. Encourage them. Stay connected.
  • Instill a feeling of love for the siblings
  • Try not to over pamper
  • Let them be different
  • Make them feel special
  • Teach them to share with you.

Second child syndrome often results in low self-esteem in the child. Parents must take care of the individual needs of each of their kids. The middle child usually suffers from jealousy. Parents must try to instill feelings of love and acceptance towards the elder sibling.

At Motherhood Hospitals, we have a team of experienced super specialists backed by the latest in infrastructure and facilities. We have the best Gynaecologist who are experts in handling complex deliveries, gynaecological needs, and other surgeries including a range of laparoscopic surgeries.

Do take an appointment with the best women and childcare hospital at a centre closest to you. Meet with our doctors who will carry out the required investigations, diagnose the issue and recommend the most appropriate treatment, enabling you to lead an active life.

If you wish to get in touch with our doctors, please book your appointment here.

Second child syndrome | Motherhood Hospitals (2024)

FAQs

Second child syndrome | Motherhood Hospitals? ›

Second child syndrome is a situation in which the second or middle child is adversely affected by the presence of his/her siblings. There are times when parents often end up pampering the youngest child and giving all the responsibilities to the eldest one.

How to avoid second child syndrome? ›

Some characteristics of Second-child syndrome are the need for constant attention, arguments with siblings, rage, and irritability. To prevent a sibling from developing second-child syndrome, it is important to give each sibling equal attention, spend time with them, and use effective communication.

Is middle child syndrome real in the Atlantic? ›

Forget it. No matter how many kids post on TikTok lamenting “middle-child syndrome,” birth order doesn't have that much influence on personality. But even if the exact ordering of the kids doesn't matter, siblings do shape one another's lives deeply.

Why does the middle child get treated the worst? ›

Since more attention is paid to their siblings, the child tends to feel unseen by both parents.” For example, middle children may receive less attention from their caregivers due to having a trailblazing older sibling and a younger sibling who has growing developmental needs, says Adams.

What is the middle sister syndrome? ›

Middle child syndrome is the belief that middle children are excluded, ignored, or even outright neglected because of their birth order. According to the lore, some children may have certain personality and relationship characteristics as a result of being the middle child.

What is 4th child syndrome? ›

Fourth child syndrome is a term used to describe the challenges and struggles that youngest children may face in their family dynamic. It is a lesser-known concept compared to other birth order theories, such as the middle child syndrome or the firstborn syndrome.

What causes second child syndrome? ›

This is known as second child syndrome. He further stated that the younger ones may not give words to their experience, but rather communicate their distress with their behavior. The situation arises when parents exercise an extreme amount of favoritism and partiality towards one child.

Which sibling has it the hardest? ›

In a study done by MIT, economist Joseph Doyle surveyed thousands of families in Florida and Denmark and found that second-born children — particularly second-born sons — end up being the most troublesome. And they are not just the most difficult in their own family but in society as well.

What is the oldest daughter curse? ›

While not a formal diagnosis, "eldest daughter syndrome" is a commonly experienced phenomenon that highlights the unique challenges oldest daughters face. The oldest daughter in a family often experiences a unique set of challenges and responsibilities that can shape her personality and impact her mental health.

Why is being the oldest daughter so exhausting? ›

The eldest daughter usually has the most expectations or responsibilities placed on her, feeling pressured to succeed, achieve, or take care of the family. They're more likely to feel shame and guilt but also tend to be more independent.

How do you beat middle child syndrome? ›

There are many ways that parents can help the middle child feel self-confident and equally loved.
  1. Spend time alone with him. ...
  2. Draw him into conversations. ...
  3. Build up his self-esteem. ...
  4. Encourage his individuality. ...
  5. Support him emotionally. ...
  6. Encourage him to verbalize his feelings. ...
  7. Reassure him of your love.
Aug 16, 2020

Do parents love the middle child less? ›

Often, parents really are less close to the middle child because there is simply less one-on-one time to build a relationship. Not only are middle children babied for a shorter period of time, they get less parental attention at every stage.

Why is the middle child never the favorite? ›

A middle child may feel like their parents don't pay them enough attention. If you're a middle child, you may also feel like you're not your parents' favorite child because either your older or younger sibling is getting the majority of the attention.

What is the Cinderella sister syndrome? ›

One of the most prevalent types of child abuse is targeted abuse, specifically against stepchildren, commonly referred to as the “Cinderella Syndrome.” The Cinderella Syndrome is a phenomenon that has been extensively researched over the years, highlighting the complexities of stepfamily dynamics and their effect on ...

Why does the middle child have anger issues? ›

They may be overlooked in terms of parental time, attention or special treatment. Some children may develop a habit of being extra-helpful, or always present with their parent, to ensure they get noticed. Others might show their displeasure at being overlooked by getting angry or aggressive.

What does being a middle child say about you? ›

Characteristics of a Middle Child

They're good at being mediators and want fairness in situations. They're also trustworthy friends and work well as team members. Not as family-oriented as their siblings. They may have a stronger sense of not belonging than their siblings do.

What are the chances of having a second child with Down syndrome? ›

For translocations involving chromosomes 21 and any other chromosome, the chance of another child with Down's syndrome being born is about one in six if the mother is the carrier and about one in twenty if the father is the carrier.

Why is the 2nd child harder? ›

In the early years of a two-child family, there is an overwhelming physicality to the act of parenting. There is constant carrying, changing, buckling and dressing, the daunting task of supervising and safeguarding two bodies with one.

What is the second child mentality? ›

Children with second-child syndrome don't think their efforts are meaningful because their parents lack direction and don't gush over every moment. Since the cause is a normal aspect of life, this one may be the most difficult for parents to try to prevent.

What is the second child rule? ›

A two-child policy is a government-imposed limit of two children allowed per family or the payment of government subsidies only to the first two children.

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