Have you ever been called bossy, dominant, intimidating, or too outspoken? Have you ever been asked to tone it down by someone?
Well, I have. I have also been told I have a gift, which I should leverage on.
A teacher once told me, my energy is too “masculine”, I should access more of my “feminine” energy. What a suppressive thought – that we should only allow one of our energies to run free, while the other side of us is locked away from the world.
Well, I’ve realized that’s not what I’m all about.
“Masculine” and “Feminine” energies are a dualism we all carry within; two opposing but complementary forces. Like Yin and Yang, sun and moon, light and dark. They’re binary systems existing in nature – therefore in us – and one cannot exist without the other. It’s like asking the right side of your brain to work without the left – it just can’t be done.
The masculine energy is assertive and dominant; while the feminine is intuitive and nurturing. These polarities aren’t linked to gender, it goes beyond that.They are universal and co-exist in all of us. Each has their strengths and weaknesses and not channeling them can throw us off balance.
There are many stigmas coming from societal norms. Just like many things in life, we live by the rules that society has set. We’ve forever been told that men are masculine, and women are feminine. The feminine is associated with being too emotional while masculine is associated with being emotionless – what a crazy, broken idea this is! Just think, how many times have you heard: ‘boys don’t cry’, implying men shouldn’t be emotional or should ‘man up’, or ‘that’s not ladylike’ suggesting that women should always be feminine and poised.
The urge to conform with society can be a very overwhelming force. For the most part, we’re trained by everything around us – school, work, and even family – to fit in. Nobody likes to be the ‘odd one out’ and so when we’re told stigmas like this, we tend to just accept them.
But we can’t let ourselves fall into the trap of stereotypes, as each one has a knock-on effect. A man able to be feminine and a woman able to be masculine, is a strength, not a taboo.
When we learn to embrace and balance both of our energies we are able to become more rounded and levelled. We build a stronger, more understanding relationship with ourselves and those around us, able to grow more easily in confidence and self-awareness.
Discovering and acknowledging our dualism is important to consciously expressing our authentic self and attaining self-acceptance. We must learn how to nurture such capabilites in ourselves.
While too much of anything can create an imbalance, trying to hide one aspect of ourselves can cause us to become misaligned. It’s time to stand up to society’s expectations and stereotypes around being masculine or feminine and instead embrace all of ourselves. Life isn’t about toning down. It’s about tuning in and being intentional – being in harmony with ourselves and those around us.
I’m coming to terms with my masculine energy and I’ve started to understand that when I’m outspoken and dominant that doesn’t mean I’m lacking the feminine side. The same way men don’t lack the masculine side when being sensitive and gentle. I’m a perfect balance of the two energies and being so let’s me tap into different emotional states and ways of dealing with things.
Unravelling this realization can be scary and challenging but learning how to embrace all parts of you and encourage both of your energies to shine through will put you on the path to a much richer, more loving and awakened journey.
Here I’m standing up and saying: Yes – I am bossy, dominant, and outspoken. But I’m also playful, nurturing and wear my heart on my sleeve.
I am whole, and so are you!
TAGS: awareness, discovery, feminine, inside, introspection, masculine, salma
